What makes for a bad friend? Do an Internet search and you will come up with any number of lists of negative characteristics you don’t want to have in your friends. They lie to you. They only care about themselves. They only like you for what you can do for them. They talk about you behind your back. They get you to do things that are bad for you. And on and on.
This coming Sunday I’m going to suggest that looking for the characteristics of bad friends is a window into some of the themes of Proverbs 19. The first specific mention of friendship in the chapter occurs in verse 4, “Wealth brings many friends, but the poor are left friendless.” I’m remembering a family television sitcom episode where a child discovers that spending lunch money to buy candy for other kids produces instant “friends,” but then learns that such friends quickly depart when the “wealth” is gone.
Other facets of bad friends appear across the chapter. Verses 1 and 9 and 22 highlight dishonesty as an unfriendly trait, while verses 2-3 and 19 and 26 perhaps teach us to avoid those who act senselessly without due consideration of consequences.
At least two proverbs here about family, 13 and 26, suggest that those who are a reproach to their own families probably won’t make good friends.
The last few verses, 25-29 carry a strong admonition about “scoffers” or “mockers.” It’s probably good to beware of those who mock others and mock that which is righteous and good. For one thing, it’s likely they will soon be mocking you, a supposed friend.
Once again, near the center of the chapter, we find a focus on our relationship with God. Verses 21 and 23 call us to trust in the Lord’s purpose for us and to find in Him the security we need. So we are returned again to a note which was heard in the last two chapters as well: friendship with God is what we need most.